The
National Commission for Women is
pushing for an amendment to make women in live-in relationships
eligible for alimony. Shabina Akhtar reports on the controversial move
Rajesh Kalra, a 29-year-old software engineer, arrived in a taxi on a
rainy Sunday with a red Sony laptop and two large suitcases and moved
in with colleague Smita Mitra three years ago. Their whirlwind romance
continued in the Salt Lake flat owned by Mitra's father, a senior civil
servant, away in New Delhi. In their office and beyond, Kalra, a
Chandigarh native, and Mitra, 25, were an 'item' a couple who lived
together without getting married. Their friends believed that it was a
matter of months before their marriage would be solemnised. But instead
of walking down the aisle, they slowly drifted apart even as they
gorged on biryani and pizza, sipped on red wine, entertained friends,
bought flowers for each other and slept together on a king-size bed.
Matters came to a head two months ago. Kalra walked out on his live-in
partner, apparently following a row over his crush on a friend's wife.
He flew off to Mumbai, leaving behind a shattered Mitra to pick up the
pieces.
Mitra's family, friends and colleagues say that Kalra got away too
lightly although he was allegedly at fault. They say that he washed his
hands off the affair, picked up his laptop and suitcases and took the
first available flight out of the city without so much as a 'by your
leave'. They accuse him of exploiting her emotionally, physically and
financially and dumping her as soon as he landed a better job in
Mumbai. After all, he would no longer need rent-free accommodation and
a woman's services in Calcutta.
"The parallel that comes to my mind is that of throwing away a used
condom. He threw me into the bin when he felt that I had served his
purpose. How I wish I could take him to court. I have been wronged but
I cannot bring him to justice because I do not have legal legs to stand
on," Mitra laments between tearful fits and temper tantrums, trying to
come to terms with her 'public and personal' humiliation. Kalra refuses
to take her calls.
But now there is good news for Mitra and bad news for Kalra. If
the
National Commission for Women (NCW), the central government's women's
rights watchdog, has its way, Mitra, and others like her, will soon be
legally empowered to extract their pound of flesh from the men who
desert them. A landmark amendment mooted by NCW boss Girija Vyas, under
section 125 of the Criminal Procedure Code (CrPC), puts women in
live-in relationships on a par with wives as far as alimony is
concerned.
But Vyas's sensational recommendation to the Union ministry of women
and child development to pile pressure on the Union law ministry to
take immediate steps to overhaul Section 125 of the CrPC (which deals
with maintenance) has triggered a fierce debate. Many dissenters are
outraged that women 'living in sin' should be equated with the legal
wife.
Section 125 provides for the upkeep of wife, children and parents, who
cannot maintain themselves. But at the moment only wives who have
either been divorced or have obtained divorce themselves, or are
legally separated and have not remarried, can claim maintenance. But
Vyas wants the definition of "wife" to be amended to include women in
live-in relationships, making them eligible for alimony as well. And
that's not all. She also wants children of couples in live-in
relationships to be entitled to maintenance like children born in
wedlock.
Elaborating on the commission's controversial vision, Yogesh Mehta, law
officer of NCW, New Delhi, says, "We are advocating alimony for live-in
partners in the spirit of recent Supreme Court verdicts upholding the
rights of the so-called 'other woman'. In 2005, Justice Arijit Pasayat
and Justice S. H. Kapadia famously commented on the inadequacies of the
law in protecting a woman who unwittingly entered into a relationship
with a married man. There is another judgement stating that a live-in
relationship is as good as marriage. Moreover, recent enactments like
the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act treat live-in
couples no differently from married ones. Our objective is to harmonise
and blend various laws in tune with the orders of the apex court.'"
Mehta adds that no human relationship is bereft of emotional
attachment. "Living together can take its toll. A woman is liable to
feel vulnerable in the arrangement, particularly if her partner is not
as committed as she is. And the chances of a man dumping a woman are
high. This moved us to recommend the amendment to Section 125 to cover
women in live-in relationships who are not protected by the law of the
land," he explains.
Hyderabad-based Uma Challa, president of the intriguingly-named but
hyperactive All India Forgotten Women Forum, has appealed to anybody
who is somebody to stop Vyas in her tracks. "A live-in relationship is
the preferred arrangement of men and women who want to avoid legal
formalities governing their union, separation or the bond itself.
Bringing such an arrangement within the purview of law is ridiculous
and legally untenable," argues Challa. She claims that a woman who
lives with a man outside wedlock generally has "loose morals". "Giving
her legal recognition would only encourage more and more such women to
move in with men without marrying them, thus posing a grave challenge
to society," she maintains.
The amendment proposed has sparked a debate among women activists too.
Observes Paromita Chakravarti, joint director of Jadavpur University's
School of Women's Studies, "The proposed amendment is part of a larger
movement striving to recognise unconventional relations involving
heterosexual or homosexual partners. Such attempts remind us that many
relationships, including sexual ones, are at odds with our existing
legal framework but we must be liberal enough to recognise them.
However, its implementation may not be as easy as perceived."
Even lawyers seem to be startled by the amendment proposed. Sardar
Amjad Ali, senior Calcutta High Court advocate, who is a bit sceptical
about the recommendation, feels that as a lawyer he would not mind
accepting a brief from a woman in a live-in relationship suing her
co-habitor for alimony. But before signing off, Ali adds wryly, "I
personally feel that this brainwave of NCW is going to be a social
hazard. It will promote adultery and promiscuity. It's bound to face a
lot of opposition because moral values still rule Indian society,
particularly institutions such as marriage and family."
http://www.telegraphindia.com/1080723/jsp/opinion/story_9587692.jsp
Copyright © 2008 The Telegraph.
All rights reserved.