For
her, it's a disgusting situation.
For him, it's a cheap thrill; a no-strings-attached thrill especially
if she cannot talk about it. Vijayalakshmi N wonders what's in the mind
of the 'eve-teaser'.
It's the usual peak-hour crowd in the bus. Men and women jostle for
space. One black sheep in the crowd boards the bus and brushes against
a woman nearby. Mind you, this is no "the driver hit the brakes" or
"the bus crossed a speed breaker" accident. The woman clucks in
annoyance, and asks him to move away a bit, but it falls on deaf ears.
The "brush" happens again and again. She tries telling the conductor.
But all that he has to say is "please adjust, madam. We cannot do much
because of the crowd."
Switch to another scene of action. Men and women are walking around an
area where a town fair is organised. Plenty of eyes are sizing up the
young girls walking past. One man suddenly lunges at a young woman and
fondles her. The woman is too shocked to react and quickly walks away,
much in disgust.
Her companion who was walking ahead senses something amiss and
questions her. But the young woman can hardly describe what she had
just experienced. It was too shameful for her.
According to Dr Chittaranjan Andrade, Psychiatrist, Professor of
Psychopharmacology, NIMHANS, "The most common response among most women
is feeling shame about what happened; fear that others will ostracise
her; guilt that she may have been responsible; anger that she has been
subjected to this humiliation; and depression at her helplessness. It
is always a trauma."
Abnormal behaviour
Dr M J Thomas, Co-ordinator and Senior Consultant in Psychiatry, Sagar
Apollo hospital, has more to add. He says that the effects of
molestation are wide ranging, and vary from survivor to survivor
depending on a number of factors. However not all individuals who are
molested manifest abnormal behavioural or emotional responses. "But
some common feelings are of confusion, powerlessness, betrayal,
questioning one's self beliefs, feeling dirty, shame, vulnerable,
unsafe, scared, terrified, angry, suspicious, untrusting, hurt, panic
and feeling miserable, to more serious psychological reactions."
Considered an act of subjecting someone to unwanted or improper sexual
advances or activity, including eve teasing, the target can be either a
woman or a man, and need not exclusively be against a woman, as is
often perceived, explains Dr Thomas. "And the definition of what
constitutes molestation or improper sexual advance depends on the
cultural sanctions in the country," he says. Brushing, fondling and
rape are all forms of sexual abuse or molestation; it is just a matter
of degree, adds Dr Andrade.
On the other hand, what happens in the mind of the molester? Is it a
cheap thrill? Or is it a psychological problem?
While it is not clear which one factor is responsible to make the
molester act the way he does, Dr Andrade feels that most molesters act
out of sexual frustration because Indian society is sexually repressive.
"Segregation of sexes in society does more harm than good, because it
deprives the male of opportunities to form normal relationships with
members of the opposite sex, and to realise that women are also human
beings with feelings and sensitivities. The way male-female behaviour
and relationships are depicted in Indian cinema and Western soaps add
fuel to the fire," he says.
"Some molesters, especially the repeated offenders, have a deficit in
empathy; that is, an ability to understand that their behaviour causes
deep emotional hurt. And some others are genuinely cruel or disturbed
and derive pleasure from humiliating their victim," he adds.
Serial offenders
"Take the case of eve teasing, a euphemism used in India, Bangladesh
and Pakistan for sexual harassment or molestation of women by men. It
ranges in severity from sexually suggestive remarks to outright
groping. Some eve teasers are blatant about their seductive attitudes
towards colleagues, subordinates, or students. Often motivated by
bravado, harassment occurs when groups of men embarrass others with
lewd comments. Groups may sexually derogate the victim to their face or
behind their back. A groper is usually serial in his attentions to
others. Whenever the opportunity presents itself, in an elevator, at
the office or department store, the groper's eyes and hands begin to
wander. A particularly aggressive groper may go so far as to act in
public," details Dr Thomas.
How to cope
"Most often, it is a trauma and the degree of trauma depends on how
well adapted the victim is, and how much social support he or she has.
In serious cases, the victim should talk to a responsible family member
or friend somebody who will know what to do and will help, and not
somebody who will blame her for it. Assistance should be sought from a
woman's cell or police station, that is, authorities who will handle
the matter with sensitivity and competence," suggests Dr Andrade.
But, life is made of some real-life heroes and heroines, who dare to
break the mould, brush aside the danger and act, if in defense of their
own self.
We leave you with one such heroine, whose name we certainly cannot
disclose.
A young woman was travelling in a late night bus to her native town. A
man was seated behind her. A little while later, the woman feels a
finger groping her rear. At first she thinks she is imagining. But it
happens again, and again. A little annoyed and not to be outdone, she
decides to be brave. She quietly sticks a safety pin at the place she
expects the alien hand to appear again. This time, the trick works. The
man's hand hits the pin and he lets out a howl. Fortunately this time,
it's the man who is in an inexplicable situation. Neither can he
explain the true reason why he screamed, nor can he say what his hand
was doing there in the first place. All he could do was taste the
prickly fruit of his own doing.
And well, not every woman would react as bravely and with a presence of
mind like this one. Not every woman dares to.
http://www.deccanherald.com/Content/Jun212008/she2008062074467.asp
