V. Benedict Santosh
The cosmopolitan youngster, lacking the
space to open out to somebody, looks up to social networking systems to
vent his feelings
It was so cute to see Kavya sitting along with her mother in front of
the computer and chatting with her emigrant-worker father over the
webcam. Though not as cute as the toddler, it was surprising to see
12-year old Reuben browsing through the web pages with ease. Kavya and
Reuben are perhaps just two of the millions of techno-savvy children in
the world. Cute, as it is, to see baby hands gliding on mouse pads with
a click here and a click there, this phenomenon has produced an
avalanche effect in the difficulties in child-rearing.
The ‘Orkut deaths’, the two tragic deaths of the teenager, Adnan
Patrawala and the gory killing of Koushambi Layek, are glaring
instances of the ill-effects of the over-familiarity of children with
the new media.
In both cases, it was discovered that the victim had disclosed a lot of
personal information on the social networking systems, which they would
not have otherwise revealed to anybody. They had confided personal
information on their love, desire, affection, family’s wealth and much
more. This, in turn, lured potential threats to these young victims and
finally led to their gruesome death.
Frantic statements
One wonders why youngsters pour out so much information on their
personal lives in what is obviously a ‘no-privacy’ zone. Could these
fads be the manifestation of a more serious psychosocial reality?
Statements like ‘Nobody understands me’, ‘My parents do not vibrate
with me’, ‘None of my friends shares my chemistry’ are far too commonly
heard. It does not at once mean that these frantic statements of young
adults and adolescents are heard only in the very recent past. On the
contrary, even as early as 1944, Anne Frank, in her diaries, speaks
about how ‘nobody understands her.’ Or for that matter one can trace
the roots of such statements to the origin of humanity. For as long as
adolescence existed such fervent cries also existed.
But these utterances are more a projection of the uncertainties of
their identity on others, than the failure of those living in the
vicinity, to understand them. It is understood that all adolescents
imminently struggle with their transition from childhood to adulthood.
They want to enjoy the freedom of adulthood while at the same time shun
the responsibility that adulthood demands. However any amount of
persuasion and explanation cannot rid them of this struggle. The
consoling fact is that it is quite possible to ease the traumatic
transition.
The difference between then and now is that the immediate surrounding
of the adolescents had a know-how of how to deal with them. This was
facilitated by the fact that, in the yesteryear, there was the
possibility of rustic wisdom being passed over from generation to
generation by means of the joint family system. Even otherwise, the
proximity of relatives and the concerned neighbours of all generations
made the transfer of knowledge on child rearing to those of the nearest
kin.
On the other hand, the modern nuclear families and the cosmopolitan
‘who cares’ culture — wherein the neighbour next door is as emotionally
disconnected from the other as the two poles of the earth — pose
challenges on several fronts. As mentioned earlier, the lack of
interchange of knowledge and rustic wisdom is one of the major
casualties.
The numerous inconveniences could be considered a blessing in disguise
too. The lacklustre transport facilities and the conspicuously absent
modern communication opportunities restricted the adolescents’ scope
for indulgence.
Their sources of information were restricted to their peer group,
teachers, parents and their kin. But the climate has changed now and
there is an information technology explosion, many of which are not
socially conscious or accountable. The umpteen pornographic sites
vindicate this claim.
Too much too early
Thus there is always the possibility of too much too early. This
exposes the adolescents to a lot of inadequacies. Yet another fallout
of the limited opportunities available in the past was that the
adolescents were always monitored by their neighbours intentionally or
otherwise. Though this could be interpreted as ‘creeping in on
privacy,’ these social censures helped in mitigating the possible
threats that an adolescent might face.
Of late, counsellors and psychotherapists point out to the lack of
quality time spent in families. The time spent on conversation has
shrunk, thanks to the increase in time spent in front of the television.
Consequently, the channel for more serious talk and personal sharing
between the family members is also disrupted. That, in turn, has
resulted in parents knowing their children very little, leave alone
understanding them. As a result, children seek other means of
expression. Peer group conversations most often do not transcend the
level of banter, ill-informed inquisitive talk on sexuality, gossips on
latest movies, discussion on the latest gadgets and perhaps a chat on
cricket matches.
Even this is a rarity because of the tightly packed schedules in
schools and colleges followed by other skill-development courses and
co-curricular activities. This is very typical of a cosmopolitan
culture.
All these ultimately mean that the cosmopolitan youngster does not have
the space to open out to somebody. This is the context in which
adolescents look up to social networking systems in order to vent their
feelings, doubts and their uncertainties. Social networking systems
give them a place to open their struggles, views and ‘news’ and are
assured that there is someone out there who is listening to you.
Pseudo emotional security
Simultaneously, there is the pseudo emotional security of not having to
get into any commitment. These assumptions and allurements make them
expose their private life threadbare. By the time their notions fall in
place, it becomes a case of ‘too little too late.’ This was what
transpired in the case of Adnan and Koushambi’s death.
The remedy to the challenges posed by contemporary information
technology outburst is not to lobby for the cessation of social
networking systems or to boycott such media, but a better alternative
is to educate children on the discretion needed in the use of such
technology.
It cannot be disputed that parents need to take responsibility for
their wards. They surely need to know what their kids are up to on the
‘world wide web,’ a web in every sense of the word. A pre-requisite of
this is establishing a close bond with their offspring and the need to
spend quality time in familial conversation. All these initiatives will
help orient our youngsters and nurture in them a sense of
resourcefulness.
http://www.hindu.com/op/2008/02/03/stories/2008020350021800.htm
Copyright
© 2008, The Hindu
